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Post by . scarlet . on Dec 16, 2007 19:06:28 GMT -5
Can you just R U N
A W A Y ?
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[/right] The forest was calm as Rashida padded slowly through the underbrush. Her feline frame was graceful and lithe, but obviously possessing of well-developed muscles. When the light hit her amber-hued coat from between the treetops you could see the rippling muscles underneath. She was a glorious sight to any beholder. But a look in her eyes shattered the picturesque impression. A look in those amber-green eyes would reveal a hardness only intense tragedy could bring about. But what was the tragedy? Rashida traveled slowly, her body moving with graceful ease, paws moving silently over the ground. The world around her was fantastically beautiful – vivid greens, vibrant golds – everything seemed almost too glorious to be real. But Rashida paid no attention to her environment. Nothing caught her eye other than the ground in front of her. Her head was low, her body language spoke of a self-imposed loneliness, and a desire to keep it that way. Memories and emotions swirled around inside her head as she moved silently over the ground. The sun was setting, casting a glorious golden mantle across everything, leaving long, black shadows across the forest floor. Why? The question beat against the inside of Rashida’s skull. Why did things have to happen that way? Nothing justified it. Nothing made sense. Everything had fallen down around her head. What was there for her now? Nothing. There was nothing left for her. Her entire family, gone. Her lover, her children, her life, g o n e . She remembered the day Asher had died. He had been so wonderful. His easy charm…loving nature…He was her world, and then he was taken from her. She had watched from her hiding place as his challenger ripped him open and left him dead on the ground. What could she do? She had run to him. She remembered the feel of his body, still warm, but so limp and lifeless. His eyes stared at her vacantly. She remembered the feeling of disbelief. He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t. She had stood there, belly swollen with their cubs inside, hot tears streaming down her face, trying to grasp the fact that he was gone. G O N E . It wasn’t enough that the world had taken her mother and sister and brother. It wasn’t enough that her father never came back for her. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t even enough that Asher had been stripped from her so cruelly. She had clung to the hope that her cubs would carry on their father’s legacy and preserve a small part of him, only to have that hope also dashed to the ground like so much garbage. No. Rashida shook her head violently and picked up a swift jog. She pushed the images from her mind, but they persisted. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want those pictures there. They wouldn’t go. The dark, painful images flashed in front of her no matter how hard she tried to shake them. She roared a terrifying, deep roar and broke into an all out run. Her body contracted and extended over and over, her muscles writhing under her skin. She tore open the earth with her claws as she flew over the ground, weaving between the trees, blinded by the images that still clung to her mind. Just b r e a t h e . Breath. Air. It consumed her mind. Burning. The pain soon became noticeable, and the burn in her lungs and her muscles began to push away the despised memories. She pushed on, not allowing herself to stop. She kept up her grueling pace, letting out another roar that ripped through her body and burned her lungs. She ran faster and faster until her body had no more to give. She stumbled. Her front leg, the one that had been fractured in the gunfire so long ago, began to send warning messages to her mind. It wouldn’t hold out much longer. She slowed to a stop, her sides rising and falling rapidly, her breathing coming sharp and quick. Rashida’s body was covered in foamy sweat; her legs were quaking from the extended effort. Looking back, she realized that she had no idea how long she had been running, nor how far. It had felt good though. She needed it. The exercise – the physical pain and exertion – took her mind as far away from the painful past as possible. It was the best way she knew to tune her mind into one focus, and block out everything else. Water. The thirst now drove her. She lifted her head into the air and sniffed, sensing that water was near. She was correct. She walked slowly, her body trembling still, in the direction of the scent’s origin. There it was, a few yards to her right, in a small pool that was fed by a series of very small waterfalls down a small cliff. The water was crystal clear. Rashida drank up, slowly at first, then more eagerly. The cool, clean water felt like it was cleansing her from the inside out. Looking back at herself, she realized the water would do more good outside than in, and she stepped slowly into the pool. The cold water enveloped her sore body slowly, lifting her matted fur away from her hot body, running through it with gentle currents. A smile curled over her feline lips and her eyes closed to mere slits. This was nice – everything else forgotten, only nature and she. She drank a bit more, then just stood there and soaked. She let the water carry her slowly this way and that, allowing herself to float more than stand. But the sun. The sun was dropping lower and lower in the sky, almost gone completely. With it went the warmth that would dry her in comfort. She quickly pulled herself out of the water, wincing slightly, and shook herself off. Water flew in all directions. She found a still-sunny place in the grass and began licking herself dry and clean. It had been such a nice bath…she loathed to give it up, but then, all good things must come to an end, and no one knew this better than Rashida. A huge yawn escaped her, jaws agape, huge canines bared, and she slowly blinked and continued in her cleaning. _________________________________ w o r d c o u n t : 1,085 s t a t u s : COMPLETE n o t e s : sorry, it's a little choppy, but I think it will do. This one's for Ashira and her new charry. XD [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size] |
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Post by ~ ashira on Dec 16, 2007 19:53:21 GMT -5
[ooc - there is NO way I'll be able to post with that many words, but I can sure try. xP] ------------------ R A K I N
f o r g e t . [yesterday][/font][/color][/size] Questions.
So many questions. Were they meant to think this way? Surely it wasn't supposed to cause this much pain. So much suffering. Most thought that life was a luxury. That they should fight for their place on this wretched world. But why? If you have nothing left, what is there to fight for? If you don't have anything to live for, there's no point in living. So why fight? Just throw your life away. It didn't matter anymore. No one would notice. No one would care.
'Cause that was how the world was.
Dark even when you basked in the light. Rakin still had his years in front of him, what had caused him to give up so early? Was it the loss? Was it the struggle? Even he did not entirely know. But it was too late to turn back now. You couldn't rewind it all and start from the beginning. It just didn't happen that way. It never did.
And even though it seemed like he didn't have a light to shine, he did have something. Something that guided him along in the darkness. There seemed to be a path in his head. It was something rarely walked on. Grass had shot up through the dirt, and rocks had been tossed onto the originally smooth surface. It seemed as thought he'd walked it long ago, before. Before what? Before giving up? Or when he was wild? Nothing made sense anymore. He was wild, he was free. So why this? Why was this 'path' overgrown? Why hadn't he opened the door to this place in his mind for so long? God, the questions. Something wasn't right. One answer led to many more questions. He thought he could do without them. But of course, life wouldn't be so interesting, even if it did make your head spin.
Screw it. Who cared?
Rakin spurred himself forward, moving his sleek carcass effortlessly through the jungles. He was built of pure stealth. Pure speed, pure power. The muscles rippled underneath his golden hide. He was built a hunter, a warrior. All that mixed blood came out as a successful fusion. His spots were a bit unusual, but that didn't matter. Out of the ordinary was good. There's a word for that. Extraordinary. Was Rakin that? He certainly didn't think he was anything special, but who was he to judge?
His pace picked up, lungs taking huge gulps of air. What started as a simple jog turned to a run, as though he was never to live again. He savored the moments when the wind kissed his face, locking them tight in his memory forever. He had a knack for that. A knack for remembering. And that, my friend, is why he was in so much pain. Memories cut deep into his heart. He would never love again. It would all be taken away. He had learned the hard way. Could he be lured and coaxed into replaying history? Would he trip and fall? Again?
His paws slowed, digging into the soft earth beneath him. Claws raked at the foliage under them, taking out what anger he could. But it wasn't really anger that had been flaring up inside of him. It was a mix of too many things. Anger, sorrow, love, confusion, hate, revenge. And there were too many more to list. His past was packed full with sorrowful stories, all that ended with death or great loss. And finally, Rakin just couldn't take it anymore. He lost the fight for hope.
And the candles, they were blown out.
Oh, and look, perfect timing. There was another one. Another girl, to sweep him off his feet. But if he loved, it would just end in a tragedy. He didn't want to hurt her. She was so beautiful, graceful. He wouldn't love her, but it wouldn't help to say hello. Introduce. It can't hurt, can it?
Oh, stop second guessing, Rakin, go and say hello.
Sighing, the brute gave into his thoughts, will overpowered by his heart. He silently slinked to the edge of the pond, seeing the fae move into the crystal liquid. She almost floated, drifting around in the water like a white swan. She was so...beautiful. Go, why couldn't he shake that feeling of love? Stop loving her. There were a million reasons why not to. But sometimes, one reason is good enough.
The sun was setting, and the sky was losing it's azure hue. In its place, the heavens were painted vivid red, orange, yellow, peach, and gold. The brilliant colors were dry brushed on the canvas of clouds. It was a spectacular show, the colors mixed in the sky. The setting sun only provided backstage light, for enhancement.
But so what? Who cared about a stupid sunset? Rakin had seen every kind there was, they weren't so special to him anymore. It wasn't important. But he felt something different, in the presence of the fae. He felt refreshed, renewed, loved. The sunset was serene and relaxing.
The leopard slid into the pond, keeping his weight effortlessly on the top of the water. His pelt was cooled, and shine was quickly restored to its glory. His pads treaded the liquid, sending him in the general direction of the stranger. Stranger....Hmmm...
He was a bit shy, but didn't hesitate. What was the worst that could happen?
"...Hello. They call me Rakin."
It sounded so awkward, so childish. Hello. It didn't seem natural, it didn't seem true. But he didn't want to say "greetings" or "hey".
STATUS - FINISHED.
WORDS - 1032
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Post by . scarlet . on Dec 17, 2007 18:30:51 GMT -5
It's not that easy.
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Rashida’s thoughts were everywhere but what was going on around her. She was musing and dreaming, just trying to keep her mind from wandering back to those dark, jaded memories. As long as she could stay away from them, she was going to be alright.
Anything and everything ran through her mind. The run and how good it had felt; the soreness in her muscles now; the soothing bath she had just taken; the burr that was caught in her coat…anything to keep from thinking about anything significant. She was so very deep in her concentration, however, that she didn’t notice the movements around her. She listened to the waterfall and failed to hear the steps nearby. She watched the setting sun and focused on grooming her own coat rather than watching her environment and focusing on her surroundings. It was a luxury she rarely afforded herself: to relax completely. It was a foolish luxury, however.
Rashida extended one amber and black-spotted leg and ran her rough tongue down the fur slowly, carefully nipping at an irritating catch in her smooth fur. Her ears were laid back in an eased position, her eyes were squinted against the low light of a dying sun as she soaked up the last warmth and finished grooming herself.
A flicker in the back of her mind warned her that something was out of place in her quiet world, but she dismissed the thought and let her eyes close slowly, her back to the pool and face to the horizon where the sun had just dipped for the last time today. If something were awry, she would deal with it when it forced itself to be dealt with. She refused to wake her mind from its hazy peace – a feeling she did not often accomplish.
A noise from behind her seemed to be the cue that nature was against her quiet solitude, and it was time to come back to alertness. Rashida’s body remained perfectly still. Her ears flicked up slightly so as to catch the sound more clearly, and her nostrils searched the air for the scent that harbingered the person of her guest. It was another feline…a male. That was enough to make her want to leave right then, but she remained. She heard the water sing around the new intruder as he entered it, and listened to the quiet splashes and smooth noises of the water as he neared her.
She turned. Her green eyes reflected the moonlight that had begun to shine its pale, soft light over the pond. She let her gaze adjust to the light and found herself looking into the face of another leopard. That however, was no surprise – she had known he was there. But there was something in his expression….Dear goodness…it resembled love. Or infatuation – one of the two.
Well…it wasn’t the first time she had encountered this…a young, amorous male deciding she was the love of his life before he had even spoken with her. But upon closer inspection, this male seemed neither young, nor given to frivolous emotions. But then, you can’t judge someone on first glance, now can you?
Rashida’s eyes remained cool, giving no warmth to encourage the seemingly desirous gaze of the other cat. She looked him over slowly, trying to read him. He was a good looking leopard…interesting looking, really. His patterns of spots were unusual to say the least, but it was an intriguing sort of different – an attractive sort of different. She shook her head, forcing herself to focus on the circumstance. She was not interested in another lover. She had been down that road, experienced the most intimate love affair she could imagine and it had all ended in tragedy and heartbreak. She wasn’t about to subject herself to that again. Her gaze darkened slightly, but not noticeably. She continued to stare at the new-comer. In his eyes, behind the present emotion, she saw conflict. From what? What had this amorous feline to be conflicted about?
Conflict
She herself was experiencing a little of that right now. Rather a lot of it, actually. The look in his eyes was welling up feelings and memories. Asher used to look at her with a similar expression. She dropped her gaze and bit back the hot frustration that was welling up inside her at the memories this intruder was bringing up. She took a deep breath. She had to let go sometime. Had to. But it was so painful…
Her eyes rose again, meeting the gaze of the stranger once again, but this time her eyes held an icy, hardness, as though she had placed a wall between herself and the emotions that had tried to gain control again. But with that wall came another that made it even harder to relate to others. She had blocked him out even before he had begun to speak.
But then came the words.
Rakin. His name was Rakin. Rashida tried to smile faintly, her lips curling back ever so slightly, but her eyes remained cool and hard. Not angry or harsh…just…hard. It was a difficult thing to explain to anyone – that’s why she never tried. She really couldn’t care less if this Rakin stayed or went.
Or…did she?
A shiver ran down her spine, ruffling her freshly groomed coat, at the unwelcome thought. She hated second guessing. She had to distract herself from his hypnotic eyes. Rashida lifted her front right paw, turned it pad-side up and began grooming again. She stretched out her paw so she could reach the fluff between her toes and began cleaning absently. What should she do? What should she say? She had avoided contact with others for so long she felt rather awkward. The ball was now in her court…she had to say something.
Introduce yourself.
Yes…The obvious thing to do would be to introduce herself. She looked up for a moment, pretending not to really notice him, and practically purred the words, “Rashida. My name is Rashida. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rakin.” Yes, purr is a good way to describe that voice. It was so low and soft, audible, but not excessively so. Like she meant for him to have to strain a little to hear what she had said, even though that was far from her intention. She flashed him a small smile and continued grooming her paw.
Questions swirled around her head as she took in the situation. The last thing she wanted was another lover. She had been in love – loved more deeply than she thought possible to repeat. It would be pointless…stupid to try to love again. Her heart had been too deeply scarred to let it happen again. Why was this happening then? To test her? To taunt her?
Her mind screamed as the tormenting memories beat around her head once again. She clamped her eyes shut for a moment, keeping her head down so that Rakin wouldn’t see. Mother, dead. Sister, brother, father, dead and gone. Asher, dead, even her own cubs, her darling children who she never even got to meet, dead too. Their cold, blank faces haunted her, howling inside her tortured head. A low growl rose up from inside her, but she repressed it, trying to remain calm and collected.
A moment later, that’s what she was. Perfectly quiet, perfectly normal. The steel mask was back in place. The stone-cold eyes with their vivid green hue were blank and calm, ready to face the world with emotionless calm.
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s t a t u s : FINISHED
w o r d s : 1,281
n o t e s : yay! you got over 1,000! that's exciting. lets up it a bit, shall we?
I don't know how good my post is, but anyway, i am excited about this post. Rashida's going to hate him for a while, then fall madly in love for him, most likely. just so ya know. XP
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Post by ~ ashira on Dec 17, 2007 20:25:36 GMT -5
R A K I N
f o r g e t . [yesterday][/font][/color][/size] watch the sunset.
Rakin looked up at the disappearing sun. The colors, they were such a brilliant wonder of the world. It seemed unreal, how beautiful it could become. But nature always seemed to make beautiful things. But just like the sunset, they didn't last for long, they were swept into the darkness of the night. It wasn't fair, for it to be taken away like that, like it deserved something more. But then again, the world was never fair. That's what made the world go round.
Now, all the goodie-two-shoes leopards out there, they had no idea what life was like. They were trapped in their own little world, chasing butterflies and cannonballing into the lagoon. Those leopards didn't actually know what it was like to live in the world. What it was like to lose everything. No, they had everything they could ever want, much more than they actually needed. Rakin however, only had what he needed to survive. Everything else was taken from him. Family, love, hope, friendship, all those words that caused so much pain to him. They were all on a list.
It was like he made a little journal of his life, a diary. It was somewhere to record everything. All the major events that caused his misery. It was full of blank pages, but more than half was already written in. He carried it wherever he went, having it go through every ordeal that he experienced. Why? It's because it was part of him. It was all in his head. Some pages were wrinkled, some damaged by water and tears, others were worn and ripped. It wasn't too dusty, for he revisited the journal often. His pen was hued a dark blue, signifying what he thought of life. It wasn't black, no, not too dark and pointless. Not that miserable. It wasn't white either, a happy go lucky color that got dirty so easily. All the other colors were too bright, too happy. Navy was a darker, but still had some life.
He turned to a random page, about in the middle of what he had written, but leaning more to the end. Let's see now...Ah yes. Here it was.
It is all over. My life is gone. Poor Iseiya, wiped from the face of the earth so cruelly. It's too much to bear. I have thought of ending my life, right here and now, but I keep turning away, afraid. But I know there's no point anymore. It's simple meaningless. I lost my love, again, each time I lose her, I say to myself : 'You should have known. Can't you learn?' I guess I can't. Because every time I recover, every time I say not to, somehow, my intentions get twisted, and we both fall in love. I didn't mean to fall in love again, I really didn't. It just happened. She was so...oh, what's the word...yes, she was beautiful, charming, but it wasn't her looks. No, it was something deeper than that. Oh, screw it. I have no excuse. We were walking in the forest, gazing at the beauty of the life around us. My pelt brushed hers, and our maws almost touched, a kiss. We were alone, so we thought, we loved each other so much. We continued through the forest, looking up at the world.
And then, just like that, it happened.
The evil ones, Morgoth's clan, they came and started to torment us, capturing Iseiya and I and taking us to their stronghold. They said that they weren't ordered to do it, they just wanted to have a little fun. Both of us were frightened, knowing how merciless the clan could be. We were brought in front of Morogth, thrown to his feet in a pitiful heap. We seemed so useless, so small, in front of him. He laughed and kicked us to our feet, asking in that wicked voice of his.
"Look what we have here. Two lovers."
He swished his tail and strong, huge leopards came to us, tearing use away from each other. We cried out, not wanting to leave the other, in fear of what they might do to them. Morogoth just cackled, and came up to me, staring me straight in the eyes.
"Tell me, where is your clan? They are the only resistance against my rule."
Damn. He knew where I was from. But how could I tell him? I stood strong, lifting my chin in defiance. I hated Morgoth more than anyone. He was a cruel soul, wanting to bring misery to all under him. My clan was the only resistance.
But I was too silent, for too long. Morgoth flicked his tail, signaling to hold Iseiya down.
"If you don't tell me, maybe a little persusion will loosen those words. Do you want to see your love suffer? Then die? I have the perfect little plan."
No! He couldn't hurt her! She had done nothing! She was too innocent. Don't torture her for his actions.
"No, don't tell him, Rakin! Don't worry about me. It's okay..." Her voice was so weak, but so strong. She was sacrificing for the good of her people. No, this was all my doing. She shouldn't have to die. Morogth flicked his tail, and two burly leopards tackled me to the ground, holding my head in place and placing a paw over my face.
"You will watch this."
Morgoth cackled insanely, launching himself at her hinds. He acted as if to breed her, but instead of mounting, he raked her claws at her soft hide, slicing open the whole of her flank. I wriggled and fought, wanting so badly to free her. I wanted to cry out, to scream for him to stop. But the leopards held me down, making me watch as Morgoth tormented her. She screamed in agony, crimson blood flowing out of her wound. But Morgoth didn't stop there, he severly wounded Iseiya, everywhere except her neck. He made sure she would have to endure the pain as long as possible. And then he did the most wicked thing he could possibly do to her. He mounted her, forcing her to breed. And with his cruel attempts inside her, she died, not by blood loss, but by the pain. She was so weak, she couldn't bear it anymore. He was too wicked. They gave me a huge gash along my shoulder as well, hoping to cripple me enough for me to die of starvation. But I made it back to the clan, and they care for me. I will never love anyone again, for I don't want to hurt her. It's too painful to think of what happened. So, I will always be alone, solitary. I will never love a girl again.
And that was the most painful entry that he was able to write. Iseiya had suffered more than he thought could be possible. And now here he was, introducing himself to another beautiful girl. Hadn't he learned by now? Well, you never can learn, can you? Love is love, a twisted reality. There's nothing you can do to stop it, no matter how hard you may try.
Her face was hard and unforgiving. He couldn't blame her, she was protecting her heart, which was most likely scarred from a painful experience. He wasn't going to try and love her, no. The brute just wanted to talk, maybe form a small friendship, nothing more than that.
Rakin tread the water with his mighty paws, emeralds gazing down at the water below him. It was so full of life, isolated from the outside world, the outside air. Crystalline liquid, beautiful and pure. It was like a light to set the candles on fire. And how many candles did the heart have? Five. One for love, out. One for family, out. One for hope, long gone. One for optimism, out. The only one burning was the candle for life. When all five were out, you were dead, you didn't breathe. The life candle was flickering, daring him that it was going to go out, that the water would smother it.
Expression just stayed open, almost blank. It wasn't happy, it wasn't cold. He just came closer to her, wanting to know her better.
"It's a pleasure. What brings you here?"
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words - 1 4 9 3
status - c o m p l e t e
other - YAY! The most I've ever posted! Oh, and that's fine with me. ^^
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Post by . scarlet . on Dec 18, 2007 18:25:32 GMT -5
R A S H I D A
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Painful memories.
Rakin seemed to have them too. Rashida could see something behind those eyes of his...something was flickering back in the recess of his mind, and it looked painful. Whether it was or not, it offered fair distraction from her own pain, and she pounced on it. What could there be in his past? What was behind those sapphire eyes….?
Her curiosity was rising, and it kept her stationary. She would have walked away...could have quite easily... But we want to be polite, now don't we? So Rashida stayed where she was. Foolish choice.
She watched him, taking note of every scrap of information she could gather from his expression and his face. She liked to know a little about a person’s character before she chose to stay and talk. But once again those memories came back. They haunted her. She would never be rid of them. Around every corner, past every tree, there they were. They pounced on every opportunity. They dug their claws and teeth into any flesh they could reach, and the held on. They refused to be expelled. It was like a cancer, and it was eating her alive. Every sound, every encounter, every expression would bring back something painful. It’s why she had chosen to avoid others…it minimized the opportunities for those memories to return. But now they were back. Whether the trigger was the look on Rakin’s face, or the sound of the water running over the rocks, she never knew, but they were back.
Gunshot. It was the loudest sound she thought she’d ever heard, and not merely because of the audible value. It was the sound that had ripped her mother from her. The sound that had stolen away her sister and her brother. They had been such a happy family. But they – hunters – poachers – had stolen their peace – their very LIVES. They had tried to steal hers too, but she had escaped. But at what cost? The last images she could muster up of her family were their faces as they lay on the ground before her, bleeding, dying…it was too much. She had run, fled, to save her own skin, and left them there at the mercy of the cruel men who had left their bullet in her leg. She had limped away with a shattered leg and a demolished heart, but of course, that was not the end.
Only a chapter later in the book of her life, the tragedy had continued. It happened just when it had seemed to disappear. Life had felt so wonderful when Asher was with her. Asher. Her Asher. He was a charmer…and a handful, but she had loved him. Their love was one that far surpassed the physical…at least it seemed that way to her. She could never tell what Asher felt, to be honest, but when he looked at her…Oh. The way he looked at her…it made her melt.
Then the black plague that followed her consumed him as well. She remembered the fight. She never knew the other male’s name. She didn’t remember anything about him except for his face. She remembered his face all too well – distorted with selfish fury and excitement, curled into a heathen snarl. His teeth and claws had ripped Asher into bits, foiling every skilled effort he put forth. Rashida had watched the fight from a hiding place. Asher had told her to stay there. He had told her he loved her. He had kissed her and kissed her swollen, pregnant belly and then dashed off to meet doom.
Life just wasn’t fair.
Death. Blackness. Loss. They were all too real to Rashida. She had lost everyone in her life she had ever loved, ever cared about. It didn’t seem right that so many tragedies could befall one person while others may live their lives never knowing the pain of losing someone close to them. Rashida had lost so much…at times she wondered if it was worth trying to keep on anymore. It seemed as though everything she touched was cursed. Cursed to death.
The leopardess blinked back to reality, snapping the hold of the memory before it took her any farther. She didn’t want to remember the rest. She wished she could just forget. Forget the past completely.
The night had come upon them fully now, the sun lost entirely below the horizon. Rashida realized that her breathing had become shallow, and her eyes moist with tears. She bit her lip and repressed the anger that was rising within her. She couldn’t let the memories go on. They had to stop. She rose to her feet and took a few steps to the side, her head low. She turned to face the brute who had come to speak with her, and laid down, positioned like a sphinx, head held regally high despite the inner struggle.
"It's a pleasure. What brings you here?"
Rashida’s ears flickered to catch his voice, but nothing else about her moved. She nodded slowly, remaining stoic as possible, allowing little of any emotion to seep through the mask she had struggled so hard to position. It had slipped once – she didn’t want it to happen again.
But how could she answer him? She herself didn’t even know what had brought her here. She had no reason for having come…she just….came. She had looked up and this was where she had ended. So what was she to say?
“Irony.... Irony brings me here.” she answered finally, a little caustically. Her tail flicked slightly on the ground beside her.
Irony indeed. It was only irony that would have brought her here, to the mythically beautiful pool fed by delicate waterfalls, here where the moon was shining its pale, romantic light over said water with a particular gleam, and here where she would meet another heart-break in waiting. How could she be at peace knowing that her contact with him could cause his d e a t h ? Her eyes darkened and she struggled to maintain the mask. She wanted him to leave. She wanted to be left alone, free from the struggle against herself and free from the fearful possibilities that the encounter held. If he wanted anything more than a casual greeting, he was going to be a problem. She didn’t want a friend, and she most definitely didn’t want a lover. Yet what could she do? Walk away?
Oh, she was sorely tempted to do just that. How much easier life would be if she simply walked away.
She flexed her front paws, pulling her claws in and out, leaving little dents in the dirt where they contacted it. Sitting there the way she was she looked rather intimidating. Her head was held high, front paws out in front of her, hind legs crouched neatly beside her, and long tail flicking irritably. The moonlight sapped color from her normally vivid coat and turned it into a pale golden color under the black spots. Her green eyes, however, were as bright as ever. Moonlight could not dim them.
She contemplated whether or not to return the question and ask him what had brought him here, but she had never been one to encourage a conversation, and she wasn’t about to start now. Instead, she simply waited. She stared silently into the darkness at the other cat, and waited for him to respond.
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w o r d c o u n t : 1,271
s t a t u s : COMPLETE
n o t e s : way to go! now to up the bar....try to spend more of the post on his current actions as well.
sorry my post is a little scattered...I'm quite busy. tomorrow are my last finals, then I'll be able to focus a little better, i think.
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Post by ~ ashira on Dec 18, 2007 21:10:46 GMT -5
R A K I N
f o r g e t . [yesterday][/font][/color][/size] Behind her beautiful eyes, he saw the very pain that he was suffering. No, not her too. Life wasn't meant to be this way. Somehow, something had gone terribly wrong. Something had broken the peace and balance. They weren't meant to live this way. And the humans? They weren't meant to take over. They destroyed the balance, the web of life. And the leopards were helpless against their wrath. Why didn't someone take charge? Why didn't Rakin? He was just too broken to make a stand.
He kept his optics locked on her, unknowingly. Emeralds just couldn't look away. Tail swished back and forth, brushing the ground and its greenery. The birds chirped above him, happy and carefree. Now, they knew that they were easy prey, why so happy? Rakin had an answer. If you know how short life is, you live it at its fullest. He'd figured that out long before, but why? Why try? God, his spirit was already gone. How could it happen in so little time? He still had so much future left. He figured that he should keep living, because perhaps he could have some more bright times on the road ahead. One, just one, would be enough for him to be happy for many moons.
You see, he cherished good times, for he saw so little of them. All the happy things in his life ended in tragedy. He knew all good things came to and end...but so soon? So dramatically? That wasn't how it was meant to be, no. Rakin's expression didn't change. The leopard let a sigh escape his lungs, scraping the earth with his claws. Black and gold facade was still sorrowful and miserable, but it had a spark to it. This new fae was brightening up his thoughts a little bit, but at the same time, he didn't want that to happen. He didn't want to hurt her.
Damn. Why was his past still lingering in his mind? It haunted him, giving the brute a bitter reminder of what would happen when he loved. She would fall victim. Or maybe he? Or both? Rakin knew that Morgoth was here. He was captured from the same region as Rakin, don't you remember? He was on the islands, stranded like the rest of them. And it was only a matter of time before Morgoth would learn that Rakin survived. History would repeat itself. Prophecy? No. It was just the way that evil hellion ran things. His loyal soldiers were nothing but servants. What he said went.
Rakin's eyes flooded with hatred, pray that Rashida knew that it was not towards her. No, the hatred was directed towards his enemy, towards the bloodthirsty beast. Hopefully she would understand that. She would just have to put the pieces of the puzzle together, simple. The silver moon reflected on his spotted hide, make it shine in a mystical way, almost like it was a fantasy. The spots made it even more unreal, the mixture of many different genes. Some rejected him, saying that it was wrong to have mixed blood. But some loved it. They liked the change in the scenery. It was intriguing, interesting.
He strode away, thinking about some strange thing. He let his mind wander, run in the morning breeze. He often let his mind loose. He thought about things that he didn’t remember afterwards. Random thoughts came to him, questions. Why was spring so happy? Why was it a lie? It made the world seem so colorful, so full of life. The grass grew and swayed in the moonlight. There were sounds of the birds singing their last song, before becoming silent. Maybe it was true…maybe spring was not a lie, just a reminder that life wasn’t supposed to be painful. Look around - everyone else was living happily. It was how it was supposed to be.
Oh, stop thinking so much. Look at Rashida. She was waiting, in a beautiful, tranquil way. And what was he doing? He was pondering whether spring was a lie or the truth? He sighed, and padded back to the leopardess, feeling a sense of worthlessness. Why was he so…different? Why was his mind so wild? Look at all the questions that he asked himself. His thoughts never stood still. Rakin shook his cranium, as if to shake those stupid thoughts clear of his head.
Optics gazed into hers, but he looked away, almost ashamed. How could he be thinking of love? After what happened, how could he let himself fall in love again? He had to be strong. For her sake – he didn’t want to hurt her. But, more than half of him longed to love a girl again. He couldn’t lie in solitude for the rest of his life. The leopard wasn’t one for that kind of life. He needed friends, love, and happiness. He would be without a soul if he were stripped from them for too long.
Irony
Irony brought her to this place? Irony brought her to the land of the waterfalls? Darling, nothing is by chance. Everything is meant for something. It’s fate. However, what was the purpose? Rakin wouldn't bring himself to love her, and she would fall for him. He knew that love hurt too many, so what could be their purpose here?
But fate, fate was a powerful thing. Sometimes you were just tools. Just toys on the board game. But if fate wasn't always good. Look at what happened to him. Nothing but bad luck. Was his fate to be miserable? There was no smile upon his maw, he was still bearing that expression of sorrow.
"Perhaps, but everything has a purpose, does it not? I came upon this place like you, unintentionally. But who knows why?" He broke the uncomfortable silence with his words. Emeralds glanced back to her, feeling a little better about gazing at her.
Perhaps she would love Rakin. Perhaps she would see something in him. Something beneath the surface. Just like the lagoon. At first glance, it seems like the same as any pond, but if you look closer, you see a whole society of fish and vibrant colors. Rashida. Beautiful name, elegant, except it had something unique about it...something different. He liked it more than his name, perhaps becauses he liked her so much more than himself.
He sounded like a child, with a little fantasy. That he'd meet a lover and they'd fall madly in love and live happily ever after. The leopard wished if only it could be that simple.
[status] - FINISHED
[words] - 1201
[ooc] - Yeah, but I'm choppy too. I drop random stuff and get off topic...fast. xD That's why I don't talk about the actions so much.
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Post by . scarlet . on Jan 4, 2008 0:19:03 GMT -5
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xx: Rashida stared at the other cat, her eyes deep and full of insight, yet boiling with bitter sorrow and anger. Rakin just kept staring at her, though his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Rashida searched his face to look for a hint of an emotion other than what she had already observed, but nothing was there just yet. She was sure his thoughts would leak into his expression soon, but he wasn't deeply enough into them yet, she supposed. She hardly moved, her frame almost like stone in its statuesque pose. The only part of her that exhibited movement was her tail. Her tail continued to swat irritably over the ground. The irritation was building as she had to exert more and more effort to ward off the thoughts that pushed into her consciousness. Over time, sorrow had turned into bitterness within her, and when the bitterness became too intense, it turned into rage, or tortuous depression. She could feel the onslaught of emotions rising within her, and sought control almost frantically. Behind her masked eyes was a battle raging wildly within her mind. A battle for control of her very self.
Was this all there was in life?
Sadness.
Bitterness.
Anger.
xx: Was there anything more? She had tasted love. As beautiful and sweet as it was, it would not last forever. Whether because of physical death or emotional separation, love would not last forever. It was better to simply avoid it and save oneself the pain. She scoffed inwardly at herself for having let herself be so hurt. She had lost everything, and she wouldn’t let it happen again. Not again. She couldn’t take it again. It would kill her.
xx: She was brought back to the present by a sudden change in the expression on Rakin’s face. Finally. Now she began to see what roiled in his mind. There was hatred in his eyes. She could tell it was not directed towards her, but something in his mind’s eye was getting a death stare. She studied him carefully, her hard eyes staring shrewdly, trying to interpret the expression on his face as clearly as possible. The look was fierce – intense and almost frighteningly angry. It was scalding and hateful. She recognized the emotion. There was a time when she had boiled in it – towards the poachers that had taken her family from her….towards the violent adversary that took her beloved Asher from her. Yes, she was familiar with that kind of hatred.
For her, however, fear was a more constant companion. The hatred had boiled out and eventually evaporated, leaving behind a residue that reeked of deeply rooted fear. It was not the kind of fear that was easily dismissed. Not the same kind of fear that first comes to mind. She never showed it, so no one could ever have guessed that fear was at any level a part of her. But it was. It clung to her soul, grasping on to her mind and her heart, paralyzing her. If she were honest with herself, she would see that it was fear, not wisdom or bitterness, that kept her from involving herself with anyone. It was fear that kept the memories fresh in her mind, no matter how much time passed.
The realization flickered in the back of her mind, and a soft growl rose in her throat. She didn’t like that truth. It angered her to realize her own weakness.
xx: But what was this? Rakin was walking away. His movements seemed moody and irritated to Rashida as she watched him, and a small flame of curiosity was lit within her. What had happened to this Rakin to give him cause for such grief? She herself had quite a story – a story she was unlikely to share with this stranger, but she wondered….would he share with her?
What was she saying? She didn’t want to become involved with this brute. She wanted nothing to do with him. Look – he was walking away anyway. She was done with him. She should be relieved. Instead she was slightly remorseful. She wondered if it had been her doing.
No.
NO!
What was she thinking? She shook her head violently and rose in a quick, jerky movement. Her tail flicked irritably back and forth as she paced to her left, away from this unwelcome presence. She stopped a few steps away, her back partially to him, but keeping him still in her sight. She glanced down at the ground, trying to seem nonchalant, and toyed with a small rock by her paw. She flexed her paw around it, then retracted her claws and batted the stone to her other paw and repeated the action. Her body was obviously tense, despite the feigned ease.
xx: In her peripheral vision, Rashida noticed Rakin had stopped moving, and was now looking at her again. She kept her gaze down, not acknowledging his presence for a moment more. She sat down slowly, her movements betraying the inner turmoil in subtle ways. She loathed the fact that her thoughts could be even slightly detected.
Rakin was still looking at her. She glanced up, and he began walking back. She observed his movements carefully. Half of her was glad he hadn’t actually left…but the other half rebelled against the thought and recoiled against the flicker of heat that lit in her chest as he approached. Her mind fought the curiosity and interest that she could not fully dispel.
His gaze met hers, and she stared coolly into his eyes, which reflected more than she really wanted to see. He too, seemed to be conflicted. He also still seemed rather infatuated with her. The idea both pleased her and angered her.
xx: His words slid into the air just as she was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to respond. Rather than ease her mind, however, his response rather angered her. She didn’t like the insinuation, whether it was intentional or not. She had stopped believing in purpose a long while back.
“I don’t know that I agree. I lean towards the idea that this is simply where I ended up due to my run, not out of any ‘purpose’ or ‘fate’” her eyes were stone cold, and her tone even colder. What did she care if she offended him. He would just leave, and spare her the torment of having to sort through her feelings for him. She didn’t want an acquaintance, much less a friend….and certainly not a lover. She was done with that. She would live out her days alone and bitter, and she was resigned to the fact. She could cry herself to sleep every night, as long as there was no one there to hear her sobs. She didn’t want any complications to her already difficult existence.
She allowed a faint sneer to mar her usually stoic features, not seeming to care if he saw. It was as though part of her was trying to push her away, even before he had a chance to be pulled in. She wasn’t even truly aware of it….it was just…part of her nature. Part of her developed nature…thanks to the cruel hand life had dealt her. It was a hard cycle to break. And not one she could break alone.
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Status: FINISHED (finally)
Word count: 1,223
Notes: I’m soooo sorry it took so long for me to finish it. I don’t know what the problem was…all my creative muses had just…stopped. I couldn’t draw either…it was really frustrating. I think they’ve come back to me though. So, here. XD
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Post by ~ ashira on Jan 15, 2008 12:36:32 GMT -5
R A K I N
why [can't] i. f o r g e t . [yesterday] ?[/font][/color][/size] he just couldn't let go.
He couldn't let go of everything and move on with his life. It was as if his past stuck to him like a leech, slowly sucking his soul away. It was making him rot from the inside. Everything in his heart, mind and soul was slowly dying, but the exterior remained the same. No one could tell what he was going through, how much he wanted to stop it all right there. You wouldn't believe how many times he got close to killing himself. See, there was no point in life for Rakin. All the memories to live for were gone, all the love in his life was gone as well, everything he held close to him was taken away.
But, somehow he found a reason to live. Each day, no matter how low his spirits were, he kept on living. But, disobeying what everyone said, he looked back into the past. He broke that rule, every day of his life. He did want to forget it, but something inside him didn't want to let it go. Perhaps it would be so he would never love again, a grim reminder.
He closed his lids tight, turning away so she could not see her pain. Claws unsheated and pierced the soil, dragging it up into his paws. This seemed so childish to him, that he had to take his pain and anger out like this. He didn't even know why he had so much of it. Surely this was coming from something else, too.
He shook his skull sadly, discovering why and where he was getting this 'extra' pain and sorrows from. Rashida. He felt his heart opening up, and he wanted her to love him, but he didn't. He was torn. And when Rashida hated him so, it only got worse. So, that made him realize one thing. The part of him that wanted Rashida was larger than the one that wanted to push it away. But, he still wanted to protect himself, to avoid love all together. What was he thinking? What was all this? He sighed, turning back to Rashida. The moon, not yet full, shone brightly down on her, not him. He was left in the darkness, the shadows, to gaze upon the beautiful leopard before him.
It just wasn't fair.
But, hey. Life was NEVER fair. Ever. That's how things worked nowadays. Everything you wanted was taken away, while you watched someone have it all. Rakin hated it, and always would. He would never get what he wanted, and he would always pass by a leopard living in luxury. Rashida? No, beneath the surface he knew that she too was suffering. The brute couldn't help but wonder; what had happened to her? What had happened that would lock her away in that shell? Or, did she really hate him that much?
He kept mentally kicking himself for letting her get to him. He didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. For the safety of him...for the safety of Rashida. He didn't want her to be hurt the same way that Iseiya had been hurt. Besides, she wouldn't see anything in him. She hated Rakin, right? She didn't care a crap about him.
Another sigh escaped from his lips and he looked down at the ground, drawing a circle with one sharpened claw. The difference in his spots? She didn't care about that. Something had happened to her, in her dark past, that was playing into all this.
The moon was not covered, the clouds concealing its wonderful light. It was as if they were jealous of its glory. Rakin shook his head, memories of the huge leopards flooding into his head. They were jealous of their happy life. That was it. They were so jealous and unhappy, that they had to rip others from their freedom and joy, simply for their pleasure. The beasts. The uncaring pigs.
Dark auds barely picked up the fae's words, for he was too deep in thought. Color flooded back in his emerald eyes, and he snapped 'awake', coming back into the world again. He was easily taken into his imagination and mind. He knew this could be insulting and improper, but it was too hard to break himself of that habit. It was stuck with him for life. He often wondered what those other leopards, the ones without the ability to dwell in their thoughts, did in their spare time. Wouldn't it be boring? Of course, sometimes thinking annoyed him, and he wished everything would go away. But, where would he be without them? He did owe those tiny little pieces of thought some respect.
Oh, what was he talking about? Owing thoughts respect? Who cared? Was Rakin going mad? This was so...stupid. He concentrated on his reply to Rashida, but knew it would be dumb and embarrassing.
"Well, that is true as well."
He ached to ask, Tell me, what's wrong?, but the question would only be bitterly rejected. Instead, he put together something else, to keep the conversation going. "...let us get away from this place, and find somewhere to spend the night."
Oh, shit. That was even worse. He acted like he wanted her to spend the night somewhere, together. No. No. He would just be rejected again. And, now, she would hate him even more. Could he do anything right? He always faltered, he always had some sort of flaw. The brute always made stupid mistakes, and he knew he should have prevented them. But, how?
Rakin looked down again, avoiding Rashida's glance. It was probably burning with hatred right now. She was no longer in the light, for those 'jealous' clouds were blocking its light. What would it be like if you were shining brighter than ever, and reaching out to help someone, but they couldn't see you? Actually, Rakin knew what it felt like. He was all to familiar.
[status] - FINISHED
[words] - 1111 (YEAH!)
[ooc] - Sorry about not replying for a while. T_T it's been quite hectic. I'm all better now, no cold.
Sorry if it's not clear. -.- I'm not very good at being clear.
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Post by . scarlet . on Jan 27, 2008 22:36:20 GMT -5
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xx: Rashida watched Rakin carefully. Something truly did torment him. It was a pain all too similar to her own…except he seemed to cope with it differently. Conflicting emotions burned and roiled within Rashida as she watched him, her head slightly aside. She was curious, and a small part of her was even sorry for him. Most of her, however, rebelled against any feelings of sympathy or curiosity. Had she not been through enough? Did she now need to involve herself with other’s sorrows as well? No. She did not. Life was hard enough without letting other’s problems pile on to one’s own. And she was sure that he would regret knowing if she told him of her past. Why burden him with her pain? No, she would tell him nothing of her past. Besides, it was already past evening, the moon was fully risen, and perhaps he would decide to leave and she would be rid of the problem all together.
Yes. That’s the way to deal with things. To run away. Isn’t that what she had always done?
The voice inside her head took her by surprise. It was a realization that she had not previously made. Run away? But yes…wasn’t that what she had just been doing? It was running that had brought her to this place even. She did run away.
The thought angered her immensely. She had always sought to be strong. To be brave in the face of the difficulties she faced. Yet it was true…emotionally…even physically, she had run away. Frustration and anger rose in her chest, making it hard for her to breathe regularly. She turned her face farther away from Rakin so he couldn’t see the torment and anger on her face. Her eyes darkened and her body tensed even more. She wanted to let out a roar and head for the hills, running off the tension.
Run?
There it was again. It was her solution. She did run from things. It was how she coped. Rashida struggled to maintain control of herself. Everything was piling up in heaps, burdening her heart until she thought she couldn’t breathe.
xx: It was difficult this time for Rashida to replace the mask, but soon she had resituated it to its former place, and turned her face back to Rakin. She heard him sigh. He was in some kind of pain…she could tell by the expression on his face. Why couldn’t anyone leave well enough alone? Something always happened to interrupt the peace.
Peace?
What peace?
She almost laughed as she realized the irony in her own thoughts. She had no peace. In reality the only thing he was interrupting was her misery, but, even so, he seemed to bring more misery, which gave her, she thought, the right to resent his presence.
Then he replied. She turned her body slowly to face him as she listened (with no visible signs of interest) to his words.
Her tail continued to flick back and forth irritably. There was nothing of real interest in those words anyway…simply keeping words in the air…keeping up conversation. Just chatter. But the next phrase he uttered…well, that was another story.
xx: As soon as the words escaped his mouth her expression changed. It went from nonchalant and uninterested to indignant and surprised. She rose to her feet. She hadn’t pinned him for that type of guy. Not at all. He was so innocent looking and tormented. This was far, far from what she had expected from him. Did he just see her as a conquest – a challenge to win and another name to add to a list? Was he that sort of guy? His eyes had dropped, but hers burned into him with indignation and offense. He was so confusing…why would he say something like that and then look so abashed? But what of it? She glared no more softly because of the question.
“So that’s your game? Well you can count me out of that tempting offer.” Her voice dripped with sarcastic frustration, a little bit of pent up anger leaking out through it as well. She leapt down from her perch on a higher rock and began pacing around him, her vivid green eyes hot with all the inner turmoil. Her feet padded silently over the soft dirt, her frame seeming barely to touch the ground as she stalked around him. She studied him with an open sneer on her face.
“If you took me for that kind of girl, you were sadly mistaken.” she said hotly. All the emotions and thoughts bombarded her again, making it hard for her to control her actions. She wanted to smack him, and to run away, and to scream all at the same time. But she would do none of those things. She stopped her pacing in a sudden arrest.
What made her even angrier was that look of sadness on Rakin’s face even now. What on earth was going through his head? She wanted to tell him off, to make him leave, but she knew it wouldn’t make her feel any better.
xx: Shaking with roiling emotions, Rashida spun around and leapt gracefully back onto her rocky perch. She had been here first, after all. She would make him leave if it came to that. She sat, perfectly silhouetted against a black background, her body sleek and poised. The moonlight had retreated behind some clouds, and she was grateful that he couldn’t see her face, for she was suddenly assaulted with an intense pang of loss and loneliness. She missed Asher. She missed him like a part of her own body. He had been everything to her. The contrast between their first meeting and that between Rashida and this Rakin was stark. Asher had been so suave…so charming. He had swept her off her feet before she had known what to say. She had been grieving when he found her, and he had completely erased that grief. It was not forgotten, but the joy she found with Asher was so overwhelming that she had no time to dwell on it.
Oh Asher…
Forbidden tears sprang unwanted to Rashida’s eyes and she scowled, lowering her gaze to hide them. Her breathing was once again ragged, and it was beyond her ability to control. She cursed herself for her weakness. It was why she so avoided other’s company. When she was alone, this fits of grief could run their course without further embarrassment, but when she was with others…they were far more frequent, and opened her up to those she was with. She muttered a curse to herself, this time aloud, though barely audible.
Her eyes lifted suddenly, focusing with cold intensity on Rakin.
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FINISHED (finally…)
Words: 1,125
Notes: I am SOOOO Sorry that took SOO long. I was trying…I promise. Lol. But anyway, it’s finally up.
And back to Rashida….she’s angry right now because the emotions she’s feeling are reminding her of her past, but she hasn’t yet figured out that it’s because deep down inside she likes Rakin. It makes her angry, but don’t let him get too despondant. Lol.
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Post by ~ ashira on Feb 7, 2008 14:41:39 GMT -5
R A K I N
why [can't] i. f o r g e t . [yesterday] ?[/font][/color][/size] he remembered.
Oh, how he remembered the sweet smiles on her face. He remembered the laughter that filled the evening sky. He remembered her voice, soothing his strained ears. He remembered her. He remembered every moment he had with her, and put it in his scrapbook of memories. They were bits and piece, not meaning anything to an outsider. To him, they meant the world. A simple thing like a rose petal was something he could never let go. It held a memory. A past. Something that made it so unique.
It was his, only his. Rakin.
Memories were wretched things. They weren't something that let him fondly remember the good times in his life. No, they haunted him, day and night. In thoughts and nightmares. They wouldn't let him escape. They reminded him of his mistakes.
Stupidity.
Anger.
Grief.
The three words constantly lingered in the back of his mind. It was his fault that she died. It was his fault he was feeling like this. His. Not Rashida, not the damn world around him. It was him. And with that knowledge, he felt useless. He felt that he didn't deserve anything or anyone. He had one single chance, and he shouldn't have another one. Iseiya didn't have a second chance; why should he? But, did he want one?
The truth was, no. Rakin wanted to be buried alongside her. But something inside him told him not to. Something inside him told him not to throw is life away. But why not? Why not? No one would care anyway. No one. And why was he trying to love another leopardess again? Clearly she didn't want anything to do with him. Why go through the misery and pain all over again? It didn't make sense at all.
Then again, that was the way life was. Nothing made sense.
Sighing, the leopard stepped towards the dark lagoon and lowered his bulky crown to lap up the water. It was so pure, so smooth. The crystal liquid trickled down his throat. Ah, so refreshing. And for a moment, just one moment, he had forgotten. He had forgotten about everything. And to be free of his misery, lightened his day. But only for that one moment. Ears perked, and he lifted his head from the cool lagoon. Turning around, he padded back to her.
It was just another day. It was just another day spent running from his past. Forget it, Rakin. Just live. Throw it all away. Is it really that hard? Why yes, it was. Because every thought, every feeling, every memory, and every word, brought his past back to haunt him. It wasn't his fault. He was protecting himself from what could happen. Rakin was a coward. Nothing more. I made him grimace when he thought of how cowardly he was acting. He wasn't taking any risks. No chances. Wasn't that what life was about? The thrill? Knowing that anything could happen, that he could lose everything? And not care? There was the key. He shouldn't care so much. It made him weak, it made him sorry.
Mourning would not bring back the dead. It would not stop the evils of the world. He had to live on. He had to push everything that clung to his heart away, so that he could live a new life. Promise, Rakin. Promise that you will never look back, that you will never listen to the name ringing in your head. Iseiya. It was far to hard, to lose her. It was the only thing he had ever known, and now she was gone.
He didn't have to even hear Rashida's response to know what it was. No. She'd die before going somewhere with him. He sighed, drawing in the soil with a sharpened claw. Glance still avoiding hers. Finally he looked up, his auds flicking towards Rashida. Her words hit him like hot oil, burning him. He didn't want her to hate him. But, so be it. If she hated him, she hated him. The leopard could deal with it, like he had his whole life.
"I-I didn't mean..."
He sighed once more, giving up. He stood, again avoiding the leopardess's stare. God, he always messed up. He always, always messed up. That was the reason she was gone. That was the reason his life was like this. Loneliness? He would have it for the rest of his life. It would always be like that.
Dark.
Cold.
"I'm sorry.
He whispered, seeing the tears in her eyes.
Turning away he began to walk, wanting to clear his thoughts again. Paws took him along a path by the lagoon, the moon still high in the sky. It did not shine on him. It did not shine at all in his view. It was just another pretty decoration that made the world seem more friendly. But he knew all too well that this was all a lie.
And then, just like Rashida, tears began to fall from Rakin's emerald eyes. He had to leave her, but couldn't bring himself to do so. He was so broken and, strangely, he felt Rashida might be able to mend him. Glue the pieces of his broken heart together. If only he hadn't messed up, if only he could get something right for once.
His weight was heavy in his paws, his skull still lowered, the tears falling freely from his optics. Maybe he couldn't fix it. Maybe he would never be able to live happily ever after. So be it.
status; COMPLETE!
words; an icky 1029
ooc; EEEE! Meh finished it! Even though it was crapola, I finished it! Yay me! So...xD
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